3 Thoughts about Identity

“Know who you are and whose you are.”

For many people, thinking about their family history is a painful or frustrating process. Brokenness is more prevalent than ever within our families. My first thought is that broken marriages affect generations of lives.

When people make decisions to end relationships for selfish reasons, it effects the identity of generations to come. When a son sees his dad cheat on his mom, the identity of what it means to be a man in his family is drastically changed. When a daughter sees her mother belittle her father for decisions he makes, the identity of what it means to be a woman in her family is negatively impacted.

My second thought is that a rich family heritage is worth it’s weight in vision and self-worth. One of my favorite all time verses in the Bible regarding faithfulness is Exodus 20:4-6.

4“You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. 5You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. 6But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on thoseb who love me and obey my commands.

Thousands of generations! Putting God first makes all the difference within our lives and the lives of our families. I am so thankful that my parents and grandparents have strived to put God first. They have faithfully served as youth leaders, worship leaders, nursery helpers, and many other roles within churches. Outside of the church they have given countless hours and dollars to help others all for the sake of Christ.

                           

This picture I purposefully had taken as soon as I found out that I was hired on full time at gracespring. This picture is of myself, my dad, and my two grandfathers. It represents three generations of men who have been youth group leaders (I think I’m the first one to get paid to do it...Praise God!). What an incredible and humbling heritage I am blessed with.

My third and final thought is that our identity effects every area of our lives. If I place my identity in my gifts and talents, then my strengths and insecurities will all stem from that. If I place my identity solely in my personality, than I will always strive to fulfill my basic fear of wanting to be loved and wanted. If I place my identity in what I believe my family or friends think I am, then I will shift with the wind and never be content or good enough. But, if my identity lies within something that is always true and loving, then I can allow that to permeate the very core of my being. If I can let go of my failures. If I can let go of the expectations others force me to live up to. If I can stop putting all this pressure on myself to be something that I’m not, then I can be what I was made to be. Because I was made by Him who is always true and loving.

A Waste of Good Perfume - Don't Worry it Wasn't Bieber's!

In our staff meeting this morning at church, our senior pastor read this passage:

6 Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper,7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat. 8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.10 When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath wrought a good work upon me.11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.12 For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial.13 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.


At first glance this passage is confusing to me. I thought Jesus was all about being wise with our money, loving others (which includes the poor), and not putting yourself first. But then He goes and lets a women pour out an expensive bottle of perfume onto HIS feet. 


Let's talk perfume for a moment. Here's a glimpse into the world of luxury perfume and the cost of it.

1. Clive Christian Imperial Majesty

This is a $215,000 bottle of perfume. It's 16.9 ounces(less than a bottled coke), the ring of the lid is 18 carat gold and it has a 5 carat diamond stuck to it, oh and it gets delivered to your door in a Bentley. 

Justin Bieber's perfume sells for about $30 a bottle and gets delivered in a UPS truck.   

The Bible says that the bottle the women poured onto Jesus's feet was, "very precious" that's Hebrew for really really expensive. Now that we can put a modern day dollar amount on what was being poured out onto Jesus's feet, what's your reaction? Is it any different from the disciples? $215,000? That's two homes for people who have been foreclosed on. That's 20 nice cars for people who need transportation to work. That's groceries and gas for 40-50 families for a year. And Jesus lets her pour it on his feet. Why?

Because He is seeing this act how we should see it. Think about this, we are confined to our finite bodies and minds. That means that we are slaves to finite logic and perception. We are also bound to finite resources. That's why when we see 200 grand being pour out onto the ground, we get a little upset. 

Jesus wasn't and isn't restricted to finite thinking. Jesus isn't limited to finite resources. With a simple thought He could produce a 1,000 more bottles of that perfume. But that's not the point or the focus. The focus is on the fact that Jesus saw what mattered. The woman giving an extravagant gift to Jesus out of the love in her heart for Him. To Jesus, it didn't matter if that bottle costs $20 or $2 million. What mattered was the heart with which it was given. 

Don't get caught up in seeing only the finite. Take a step back and try to examine things of this world through the infinte mind of Christ.

Pastor Larry related this extravagance to the cross. What Jesus did for us was so extravagant, that no level of hate, disobedience, rebellion, apathy, or anger could even come close to matching it. The extravagant love of Jesus covers over all of our sins that lay at our feet.

 

Have you thanked Him today? Have you done anything extravagant back to Him?   

Great Blog About Mentoring from Michael Hyatt

We should always be learning. One of the ways that I am always learning is by listening to my mentors and reading books and blogs they recommend. The mentor responsible for me being in youth ministry recommended I follow Michael Hyatt's blog a while ago and I have learned so much! This is a great blog from him about mentoring. We should all getting mentored by someone, but maybe YOU should be mentoring someone else. Does someone come to mind who you would like to mentor? Would you be willing to go through a year with them like the one listed below?

I have been thoroughly blessed to have a number of Godly men pouring into my life. Who could you mentor?

Subscribe to Michael Hyatt's Blog

INSIDE MY MENTORING GROUP

I started my first mentoring group in January 2010 after being inspired by Regi Campbell, author of Mentor Like Jesus. His organization, Radical Mentoring, guided me through the process and enabled me to do something I had always dreamed of doing.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/asiseeit

Mentoring has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. The first year went so well, I decided to do it again in 2011. We just wrapped up our second season. I am doing it again in 2012.

Scores of people have written to ask how my group works. I thought I’d write about it here in the hope that you might be inspired to start your own group.

I am contacted almost weekly by people who want to be mentored. If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that young men and women are desperate for mentors who will build into their lives.

Here’s how my group works. (Again, this inspired by what I learned from Regi, but modified a bit by me.) Let’s start with the vision.

My vision is to help younger men live a God-centered, integrated life and fulfill their God-given potential.

I believe that we can be followers of Jesus Christ and have successful careers and be great husbands, fathers, church members, civic leaders, disciple-makers and friends—ALL at the same time.

I endeavor to share what I have learned about success in these areas, most often by focusing on where I have failed. (And I have plenty of examples!) I want to help my mentees avoid the same mistakes that I made along the way.

I have eight men in my group. Why so few? As Regi says, “More time with fewer men equals greater Kingdom impact.”

Also, the reason I have not included women is because I want to focus on those things that men struggle with. I believe mentoring is done best with those of the same gender. You may disagree, and that’s fine.

Requirements

I specifically recruit men who met the following criteria:

• Men who have a passionate commitment to Jesus Christ. They may be struggling in their relationship with God, but, fundamentally, they want to grow.
• Men who are married and in their late 20s to late 30s.
• Men who are willing to look themselves in the mirror and make changes to improve.
• Men who are teachable and willing to take direct feedback—about anything—without being defensive.
• Men who are willing to replicate the process at least once with another group of guys sometime in the future.
• Men who live in the greater Nashville area. I think it is important to be able to meet face-to-face.

Commitments

The men and their wives sign a written covenant to do the following:

• Be on time to every session. I am big on punctuality.
• Attend two scheduled retreats, one at the beginning of the year and one at the end. These start on a Friday evening and end late Saturday afternoon.

• Meet with the group at my home once a month for three-hours (7:00–10:00 pm). This is the formal session.

• Read one book a month. I assign these and the mentees are responsible for purchasing them themselves.
• Prepare a written “net-out” (book summary) for each book and bring eight copies to each meeting.
• Memorize two assigned Bible verses per month.
• Meet with me one-on-one for lunch every eight weeks (six meetings through the year).

• Meet with their assigned growth partner (one of the other mentees) in person or by phone once a month. These meetings can be as short or as long as the partners desire.

Opportunities

In addition, I invite my mentees to participate in these optional activities:

• Meet with the group informally once a month for two hours (7:00–9:00 pm). This is the informal session and will be driven by my mentees’ questions. I host this in between the formal sessions.
• Come to dinner with my wife, Gail, and me at our house once during the year—just the four of us. This is purely social.
• Contact me as necessary to process any specific issues they need to work through.

Schedule and Topics

This is the program I have planned for this year:

Month	Theme and Book	Cost
Jan	Launch Retreat: Creating Your Personal Life Plan by me	$100.00
Feb	Character: Who You Are When No One’s Looking by Bill Hybels	$9.72
Mar	Priorities: Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley	$9.06
Apr	Health: I have not yet decided on the book	N/A
May	Marriage: Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas	$10.19
Jun	Temptation: Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris	$9.77
Jul	Fatherhood: Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay	$16.15
Aug	Talents: StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath	$14.97
Sep	Leadership: The Servant: A Simple Story About the True Essence of Leadership by James C. Hunter	$14.53
Oct	Community: Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood by Nate Larkin	$11.07
Nov	Influence: Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream by David Platt	$14.95
Dec	Graduation Retreat: Finishing Strong: Going the Distance for Your Family by Steve Farrar.	$100.00

The total cost is approximately $360. This includes the books and the retreats above, plus the cost of going to lunch with me six times during the year. (We go “Dutch” and I assume they will spend $10.00 per lunch). In addition, I ask them to make a donation to Radical Mentoring and suggest $100 each.

As you can see, my guys make a serious commitment of time, effort, and money. So do I. This insures we all have “skin in the game” and maximize our learning.

I am really excited about leading my mentoring group this next year. I only wish I had time to do more than one. That’s also why I am praying that other men will step up and become mentors.

If you are over forty, I seriously encourage you to consider it. It will be one of the most rewarding things you could ever do.

Question: What questions do you have about mentoring? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Adele Lip Dub

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, the high school small group retreat called Ignition, is one of my favorite events of the year. So what happens when you put 20 high school seniors, 4 adult leaders, and an iPhone 4 in the same house for a whole weekend? Take a look. It's not perfect, but it was a whole lot of fun!

Stress: How Do You Respond?

Tweet: Panera on Gull Road is awesome! If you're in Kalamazoo, you should eat there today!

I walked into Panera this morning with the intention of buying 36 bagels and coffee for 25 people. This was for the Community Youth Link (awesome group of area youth workers) Christmas party that we host at gracespring (my church) every year.

I walk up to the counter and ask a very nice lady in her late 20s for 36 assorted bagels and cream cheese to go with them. She begins to work on my order right away. She was quickly, but properly, grabbing bagels and putting them through the slicer as fast as she could and placing them into three bags designed to hold 12 bagels each. I was impressed by her efficiency.

While she was doing that another lady came up to the register and asked if I need anything else. I told her that I needed coffee for 25 people. She clearly wasn’t listening to what I said because she walked away and came back with a fruit ring pastry. Don’t get me wrong, that pastry ring is amazing…but it’s not coffee. She then asked if I needed anything else, before telling her I didn’t need the pastry ring I told her again that I needed coffee for 25 people. Then it happened. She looked at me and said, “Sir, that’s going to take at least ten minutes.”

I replied, “Oh that’s ok. I’ve got time.”

She said, “You know sir, we don’t mind you walking in and placing a big order like this, but it’d be nice if you called ahead.”

I replied, “I’m really sorry, I’ll make sure to do that next time.”

The first lady continued to work on my order without skipping a beat. She handed me three bags of bagels with a smile and said, “Here you go!”

I thanked her and took them out to my car. I walked back in and waited for my coffee and pastry ring (no way I was bringing that up at this point). While I was waiting, the first lady continued to do her job with a smile and even thanked me again as I walked out with my coffee. The second lady carried her negative attitude over to the next few customers. She was short with them, interrupted them while they were asking questions, and her body language communicated displeasure in an obvious way.

Two totally different responses to the same situation.

Now I’ve worked in fast food and I have responded both ways to similar situations. I was never upset with the second ladies response. I understood her displeasure. I even agreed with her that I should have called ahead. But, this did remind me of how important our responses are. Especially for followers of Christ.

When someone comes into our lives, walks into our church, or encounters us at work we have a responsibility to respond to them just as Jesus would. Having a bad day – don’t take it out on them. Feeling depressed – it’s not their fault. Want to be lazy – they just want someone to care. Don’t want to feel uncomfortable and alone – neither do they.

 “So now I am giving you a new command: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” – Jesus

We are called to always respond to others with genuine love and care for them, just like He did.  

How Badly Do You Want to Know God's Will?

Tweet # 1,422: Speaking at Heritage Christian Academy today and next Wednesday. Please pray for God to shine through me.

Pre-Blog: I love speaking at school chapels because it allows me to take the gospel out of the comfort of church walls and into a student's everyday environment. Take the gospel with you when you leave church.


I was asked to speak at Heritage about how believers are told not to conform to the world. We are told very clearly in Romans 12:2 that we are to be transformed by Christ. We are to let Him be the one to shape our thoughts and actions. Not the world. Not our culture around us. Then the verse gets really interesting, "Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." 


Know God's will? That's what we all want. That's what we've been asking God for all along. What job should I be at? What college should I go to? Who do you want me to marry? How are these bills going to get paid? We all want the answers. How badly do you want the answers?


There's no better story in the Bible about non-conforming than the story of Noah. The Bible says that Noah was the only righteous person left on the face of the earth. This wasn't like Job where he was the top dog, Noah was the only dog. 


Incredible. The entire world has turned it's back on God. Yet Noah remains faithful. How? Most of us buckle under peer pressure real fast. Myself included. It's hard not to. 


Here's how: The Bible talks about three smart moves Noah made. 


Smart Move: He walked through life with God. Genesis 6:9. 


He had a relationship with Him. God wasn't looking to control Noah. He was looking for a friendship with Noah because He knew that was the best thing for Him. The question that came to my mind was, how did Noah know about God? We have the Bible. Noah did not. Here's what my brain came up with: Noah would have known about God from the stories passed down from generation to generation. His great(x?)-grandfather would have been Adam. Who was perfect at one time and hung out with God like no other human being(who wasn't also God, i.e. Jesus) ever has. I can only imagine the stories Adam told about God. 


"There was this one time when God and I were naming the Platypus..."


Smart Move: He listened to God. Genesis 6:13

 It's easy to fly through life a million miles an hour. Especially in today's American culture. We see Noah listening to God. Nobody else in His culture was taking the time to listen to God. But because Noah took the time to have a relationship with God and because he listened, God told him His will and that saved him and his families lives(...and ours). Noah learned God's will because He was allowing God to shape his mind, not the world around him. 


Smart Move: He obeyed what God said. Genesis 6:22

God asked Noah to do something that took almost 100 years of his life. Noah obeyed. What if God's will for you is to raise $10 million to free children who are enslaved in militant armies throughout the world. That would take most of your life. 


What if God's will for you is to sell everything you didn't need and give that money to pay off the debt your neighbors owes to get their house out of foreclosure? That would go against what our culture values.


God's will for you is to love the Lord your God with all that you are, love others just as much as you love yourself, love your enemies, honor your father and mother, respect authority, take care of the poor, be honest, and be patient just to name a few. 


I don't know what God's exact will is for you. I don't know if He'll make it crystal clear(Noah had to have faith as well). What I do know, is that when we don't conform to our culture and we allow God to transform our hearts and minds, that's when He begins to teach us what His will is for our lives and we begin to understand it more and more. 


I believe you can discover God's will for your life, but how badly do you want to know?

Jonah Mowry - my most important blog to date.

By now you may have seen a video that Jonah Mowry posted on youtube 4 months ago. If you haven't you can view it here: (WARNING: THERE IS PROFANITY IN THIS VIDEO. MIDDLE SCHOOLERS YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR PARENTS BEFORE YOU WATCH THIS VIDEO)

I hope your heart breaks when you watch this video. I also hope that it stirs you to action. I work with 100+ middle schoolers on a weekly basis and I wish that I could tell you that kids like Jonah are in the minority. The sad truth is that they are not. Dozens of the middle schoolers I work with are struggling with bullying, low self-esteem, and lack of purpose. Many of them don't have a consistant voice in their lives letting them know how special, wanted, and worth-while they are! They aren't being regularly reminded about the love, grace, and hope their Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ has to offer them.


Let me make this cry for help to you. THERE IS A HUGE NEED FOR PEOPLE TO INVEST IN THE LIVES OF STUDENTS. If your heart was stirred at all by this video and you would like to do something about it. Please email me peter.jenkins@gracespringchurch.org. I work with middle schoolers primarily in the Richland, Plainwell, Gull Lake, and surrounding area. Students lives are precious to our Lord and Savior. Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, 'Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.'"


I would love to sit down and talk with you about how you can make an eternal difference in the lives of students. Thank you for taking the time to watch the video and read this. Together we can make a lasting difference in the lives of students all for the glory of God.


to God be the glory

The High Cost of Choosing Comfort

Tweet: "There's a high cost in choosing comfort." - Dave Bennett at Ignite's small group retreat this weekend. http://pic.twitter.com/89qirSge


For the past six years, the high school youth group at Gracespring Bible Church has held a small groups retreat in the fall called Ignition. Students are placed in a house with other students from their grade for an entire weekend and are challenged to dive deeper into their relationships with each other and with God. It's one of my all-time favorite youth ministry events. This year's was one of my favorite's. Here's why:

The weekend consists of three large group sessions, four in-home small group Bible studies, a service project, and bowling! At bowling this year I was on a lane with Chris, Brock, and Ashley. All three are seniors in high school and have been coming to small groups and Ignition since they were freshman. Chris and Brock are two of the funniest high schoolers I have ever known. They are always pushing the envelope with their dry and sarcastic senses of humor.

Half way through our first game of bowling, Chris decided that he was going to bowl backwards. So, he began trying to perfect the backwards bowl every time it was his turn. Every time he would get up to bowl, I would pull out my iPhone and record him trying to bowl backwards. I was hoping to catch viral gold for our youth group's Facebook page. All we were getting were gutter balls.

This same process would happen every time Chris' turn came up. He would study his line, grab a bowling ball, begin his backwards throw, and then… gutterball. Over, and over, and over, and over again. Here is a picture of just a few of the videos we had accumulated.




After a while, I began to let Chris bowl on my turn as well. We were determined to accomplish this… gutterball.

Near the end of our second game we were getting discouraged, but Chris was determined. I was called over to another lane by some other students in our small group and on my way back… it happened.

Chris lined up like he always had and threw his bowling ball behind him, but there were two things different about this time. First, I wasn't recording. Second, the bowl was going straight! Chris, Brock, Ashley and I all watched as Chris' ball finally went straight down the lane. It was really straight, oh it's a good throw, it's… NO WAY!! IT'S A STRIKE!!!! I ran up to Chris and picked him up off the ground. We were all going crazy! The one time I wasn't recording it happened.

But that didn't matter. What mattered is that I had given up the comfort of a relaxing weekend in front of the TV to be here with these students that I cared about deeply. Unfortunately, you don't get the enjoyment of watching that video, but I get the enjoyment of having that memory forever engrained in my head. Chris and I will always have that shared memory because we both gave up comfort to spend a weekend diving deeper into our relationships with others and with God. Obviously, the eternal and life changing moments that I also got to experience that weekend were way more important than bowling a backwards strike. But you get the point.