Are You a Muderer of Love?

One of Beth’s and my favorite movies of-all-time is, Dan in Real Life. Steve Carrell plays Dan, a recently widowed father of three girls who are approximately 10, 14, and 17 years old. One of my favorite movie quotes of all-time is said by the 14 year old, Cara. I tried to find a legal video of it to show you, but could not. (If you know where to find one, please post it in a comment!)

Cara, starts dating this boy, Marty, and they believe they are deeply in love after a few weeks of dating. When the family goes on a road trip to the family cottage, Marty surprisingly makes the journey as well and Dan sees him and Cara making out on the beach. He then proceeds to drag Marty to a car where Dan's brother-in-law is waiting to drive Marty to the nearest bus station. Dan tells Marty that love is a dangerous feeling. Marty looks at Dan and recites a beautifully written line, "Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability."

Then comes the line. Cara chases after the car as it drives away. As the car heads out of sight, she turns around bawling and yells to Dan, "You, are, a MURDERER OF LOVE!"

It's cinematic gold.

Our culture likes to package love as a feeling first and foremost. Jesus modeled love very differently. The night Jesus was betrayed and arrested, He talks to the Father telling Him that He doesn't want to go through with the plan the Father had set in motion. He didn't want to have to experience the pain and death that would follow. Jesus doesn't feel like saving the world that way. Did Jesus not love the world because He lost the feeling of love?

Not a chance. 

Jesus than models for us the foundation of love. "Not my will, but Yours be done."

Jesus shows us His ability to look past feelings and submit to the Father's plan. He acted in a way that put what He wanted on the back burner. That's love. Not true love or real love, just love.

Our culture has murdered love. Watered it down and made it reliant upon how the other person feels towards us or how they act or perform. 

I encourage you to join me in memorizing this verse as a reminder not to be a murderer of love. 

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. - 1 Corinthians. 13:4-5a 

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Are you a murderer of love?

Are you murdering love within your marriage?


Are you murdering love with your kids?


What could you do today to change that?


What will you do this week/month to change that?