Conversation Starter for Parents and Mentors - Don't Punch a Fire Extinguisher

Last night after his team lost their second game in a row to the Miami Heat, Amare Stoudemaire, of the New York Knicks, was so angry that he punched the glass cover on a fire extinguisher and had to his hand wrapped extensively by team paramedics. 

When I heard this story this morning from some middle school guys at Gull Lake's Hutch's Huddle (a middle school Bible study that meets on Tuesday's before school), I couldn't help but think about how great of opportunity this would be if I were a dad to talk to my kids about controlling their temper. This also applies to mentors. 


Here we have a famous athlete who is frustrated to the point of anger and goes off on a fire extinguisher and will most likely miss the next game his team plays. What an incredible consequence! Add to that the fact that his reputation has been tarnished and he will be forever branded as that basketball play who punched a fire extinguisher.


Here we go mentors and dad's (or mom's, but within families I would love to see the dad's out there take the lead on this one), if your mentee, son or daughter watches basketball or any sport really, I encourage you to intentionally bring this up in conversation with them. 


Interested in learn more about creating a culture of conversation with your mentee or children, click here. 


Ask if they've heard about the situation. Ask them what they think about it. Ask them how they've seen you react to frustration and what they think about that (hard question, but what a great way to show that you want to be real and honest with your mentee or kid(s)!). Ask them how they've responded and then let them know how you've seen them respond (they will be able to hear this better since you've opened yourself up first). 


Now that you've heard their response, you can either reinforce their understanding of how we should control our anger or use it as a teaching moment to explain to them how we should handle our tempers in a God honoring way. Here are a few Bible verses to help you out:

Stop being angry!

    Turn from your rage!

Do not lose your temper—

    it only leads to harm.

Psalms 37:8

A hot-tempered person starts fights;
    a cool-tempered person stops them.

Proverbs 15:18

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

James 1:19-25

My prayer for you is that the Holy Spirit will give you the courage to start this conversation and the words to say that will open up the hearts of your child(ren) to listen.

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Parents and Mentors, evaluate yourselves:

How did it go? (be honest)

What went well? What didn't go well?

Were you patient? 

Did you pray for the conversation before you started it?

Did you ask the questions in a way that showed you really cared or in a way that implied you had an agenda?

How did your child(ren) respond?

What will you do differently next time?