How Beth and I Fight for Our Marriage

Another one. My heart is shattered. 

This morning I learned of another couple getting divorced. My heart breaks for both the parents and the students when this happens. Nobody wins. 

With this one though I had a difficult time preventing my emotions from overwhelming me. I journaled on my computer a mess of thoughts, feelings, and sleep deprived opinions. Once I calmed down and received some wise counsel from my wife and father, I decided to write this blog. 

Three things Beth and I do to fight for our marriage. 

1. Weekly Dates. 

We don't have any kids, so weekly dates are very realistic. If you have kids, once every other week or once a month may be the rhythm that works for you. 

We enjoy dinner and a movie dates, breakfast dates, and antiquing dates. You may enjoy kayaking dates, walk in the park dates, bike riding dates, ski dates, horseback riding dates, etc. However you both enjoy spending time together, make sure you regularly do it. 

2. Communicate Actively Throughout the Day 

We have naturally done this pretty regularly without having to be purposeful about it, but the importance of it was affirmed to both of us by a married Christian couple. Both of them are previously divorced and the husband cheated on his first wife. Since that time, they both have come to know the Lord, but they are very purposeful about preventing their lives from slipping back into old habits. Daily communication is a key piece of that prevention. Texting, phone calls, emails, Facebook posts, tweets, or whatever else you want to do (married people, feel free to get creative here ;) ). 

3. Pray Together and for Each Other

Prayer is a powerfully intimate experience. I wrote more about that in this blog post. Your marriage is your primary mission field. Marriage is the very representation of us with Christ for eternity. Satan longs to break it up! Ask God to keep Satan far from your marriage. Let God know how deeply you long to see your spouse kept from temptation. Ask Him to show you ways you can sacrificially love your spouse. Pray regularly and deeply.  

There are more things Beth and I intentionally do to fight for our marriage. But, these are practical and very realistic ways to begin your fight today. 

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

- Ephesians 5:21-26